My Crisis, Their Tragedy.

I hate to admit it, but every single one of my high school teachers was right; I miss those days terribly. The only thing I ever had to worry about was the weather (whether or not I wore those jeans last week was another "issue" that I thought about, but that is a whole other story).

Whoever said college is the best time of your life? Someone who is not used to freedom perhaps. Sure it is probably better than life in the working world, but that is just where we are heading anyway so what really gets better? Are we supposed to look forward to aging? (I probably should have labeled myself as a pessimist years ago, and I have been getting that a lot from my friends but I don't like that word "pessimist.")

I am sure most "pessimists" say, I am not pessimistic I am realistic. I, however, could easily make a never ending list of all the positive things in my life. (The negatives could quite possibly fall under one single umbrella.) Does this make me a negative person? Never. A pessimist? Definitely not. I am simply not afraid to call a spade a spade.

I have to say I am indeed slightly disappointed in myself for my recent beliefs and shortcomings, mostly because I feel like this is exactly what I premeditated to not do.

Producers decided to come out with the movie 2012 to instill fear in the general public. Movies such as Day After Tomorrow have been in rotation since my life began and these are all negative things. All it takes is one pessimistic thought to be spread amongst millions for something negative to actually happen. We are giving this whole 2012 thing so much power by walking around every day claiming that the world will soon end, and I am included in that even though I did not see the movie. (Can't help but wonder "what if", I suppose.)

There is no doubt that there are some terrible things happening, but what we need to do is look at ourselves and realise how we have played a part in this. To all those who believe in a higher being, despite the different beliefs, I think we can all agree that no crime goes unpunished. I say this in reference to the basic morals which in recent years have broken themselves down into smaller categories because of how creative we have gotten at committing crimes and trying to justify them. The further we stray from simplicity, the more sins we tend to commit.

Walking by faith and not by sight, I do believe that the world is coming to an end. For all of those in Haiti and with family in Haiti, my prayers are with you during this time of tragedy. The way of the world has caused this and will continue to cause tragedies like these if something is not done. A change needs to be made; a change that can start with any one of us. By judgment of the almighty, all almighties, we are living wrongly. We have lost sight of what is truly important because we are blinded by the material world.

It is time to wake up. I am awakened and trying to find my balance between making my parents happy and making myself happy. What makes them happy? Good grades in school. They want nothing more than to see me with a successful job. What makes me happy? Waking up everyday and looking outside at nature's beauty. (Buildings, cars, and construction do not fall into this category.)

This brings me to a crossroad. My dreams contradict each other. Despite my undying love for the countryside and the simple life, I often imagined working in an office atop a tall building with a bay window and a beautiful view of the city. I pictured myself dressed in business suits and heels, possibly with a briefcase, a convertible, and a beach-side condo. But I see that as the materialistic side of me. Can all of those things bring me everlasting happiness? I am not really sure. Would it make life easier and more comfortable? Definitely.

Still, as the tragedy in Haiti continues to unfold, it makes me realise how impotent we are against mother nature. She rules all at all times; and the condo, convertible, and office, can all be destroyed in a heartbeat and without warning. Then what?

Certainly that is not enough of a reason to not aim high, but I still feel like I could get by just the same with a regular car, a regular apartment, and a regular office.

At the end of my life, none of it can come with me anyway.