Aha ! 'Tis a Monday, the day of the week most commonly scorned. Au contraire, I have something to smile about today. Yes, you guessed it. I slept last night.
Thus, today was a good day. Or so it should have been.
I went to sleep last night around 2am, to wake up this morning at 7 45. Usually by then I am already up and running anyway; but this time I had to wake myself up to get ready for school. (I call that a success.) Of course the day I decided it might possibly be okay to wear jeans, the weather decided to play with me by exuding extreme amounts of humidity. I almost died with all the walking I did in that heat. So what does that mean? No gym for me today.
I was actually supposed to go to Water Polo practice, but my ride left me hanging on to some invisible rope, and now that it is 6'o'clock and I have gotten no response, my hopes of reliving my high school days have been shot to hell - at least for today. If it was not a water activity, I am not sure any other physical activity could get me out of the house until the sun goes down.
Florida's weather is so indecisive.
On another note, I still managed to go through the day being extremely tired. I am thinking the last week of no sleep caught up to me. But wait, I have to explain how I finally got to sleeping.
The Miracle:
During a phone call last night, I ended up bursting into tears after finally deciding to just let it all out. The news I have been getting lately deserves a few tears, but for some reason I just took it all in like I have no emotions. I hate crying, but I had no control this time. I felt as if all of my cataclysmic internal thoughts came flowing out with the tears. I also hate telling people what goes on in my personal life, but I am glad I have someone I can confide in anyway, and he made me feel much better in the end. So after the verbal diarrhea, I slept like a baby. I cannot believe that was all it took.
Loneliness is deadly.
If I were living with roomies who were actually somewhat into conversation and meeting new people, or if I were living with my old roommates, I am sure I would not have missed out on that much sleep. We would have had our heart-to-heart one night or the other, where we all talk about the weight on our shoulders in an attempt to lift them, and then cry like little babies while listening to slow music.
I miss those days. These days I spend by myself, in my room, not really doing much of anything if it is not schoolwork.
Speaking of schoolwork, I have to write a story for my grammar class and I have absolutely no ideas. It can be about anything at all, which should be easy enough, but my creative juices are not flowing.
Any suggestions?
Monday, 31 August 2009
Saturday, 29 August 2009
I Forgot What This Felt Like
I spent all day in bed.
I would start the description of my day by saying "I woke up at.." But the only problem with that version is that it is not real. To spare you from going down that path one more time, I will just move on from there. (As much as I hate medication I am beginning to consider the melatonin suggestion from Optimistic Pessimist.)
Today is (or should I say would have been?) the birthday of Michael Joseph Jackson. So, of course, every station that is any station was showing some kind of story or documentary or movie in reference to him. As a die hard MJ fan, I managed to watch about three of said programs from the comfort of my bed. It is a bit embarrassing, but I will admit that quite possibly I shed a few tears.
In between all of that I also tried sleeping, but my attempt at such a feat proved an epic fail. Go figure. I am thinking I should have just went to the water polo practice like I had planned to, so my day would not have been a complete waste. I am also slightly upset with myself for completing all of my homework from yesterday. I know, I am a loser. Whatever. Having homework to do beats sitting around all day. It is pretty sad when "taking a shower" becomes your most entertaining activity for the day.
Hopefully something can magically come up for tonight. I might not be much of a night person, but it is better than nothing.
I would start the description of my day by saying "I woke up at.." But the only problem with that version is that it is not real. To spare you from going down that path one more time, I will just move on from there. (As much as I hate medication I am beginning to consider the melatonin suggestion from Optimistic Pessimist.)
Today is (or should I say would have been?) the birthday of Michael Joseph Jackson. So, of course, every station that is any station was showing some kind of story or documentary or movie in reference to him. As a die hard MJ fan, I managed to watch about three of said programs from the comfort of my bed. It is a bit embarrassing, but I will admit that quite possibly I shed a few tears.
In between all of that I also tried sleeping, but my attempt at such a feat proved an epic fail. Go figure. I am thinking I should have just went to the water polo practice like I had planned to, so my day would not have been a complete waste. I am also slightly upset with myself for completing all of my homework from yesterday. I know, I am a loser. Whatever. Having homework to do beats sitting around all day. It is pretty sad when "taking a shower" becomes your most entertaining activity for the day.
Hopefully something can magically come up for tonight. I might not be much of a night person, but it is better than nothing.
Thursday, 27 August 2009
My List Of Complaints
1. My job hunt was unsuccessful.
When I went to the financial aid office, they told me that "according to my records, I am getting too much aid to apply for work study." (i.e just hold off on groceries and FOOD for maybe, possibly, another week - or until we decide that you've starved for long enough and now you can finally get your aid.) Needless to say, I am not too thrilled about that.
One thing I am not complaining about is the fact that after working it out personally, I realised I really am getting a good amount of aid this year. So, my pride was not that badly broken but he did make me feel like an idiot. Just a little. I am afraid to get too excited about this though, just in case it is all a lie.
2. I finally got my lazy ass to the gym. I did spinning and it was deadly. I swear I don't sweat from any other exercise as much as I do in that class. I am going to be so sore when I wake up tomorrow, which I will not complain about. I always feel that if I wake up the day after exercising and I am not sore, I did nothing more than waste time and energy. Speaking of energy my arm muscles are very weak and I am having trouble typing, so this will probably be very short and to the point. By the way, I had no idea biceps are used for typing? I thought that was strictly finger action.
Complaint number 3. I STILL DID NOT SLEEP LAST NIGHT. When I got home I was so tired that I took the quickest shower ever, got into my bed - late at that because I had gone to a social event at school - and swore to myself that I would sleep well. Wrong. I woke up at 3am. I am going to spare you today from ranting on and on about that sleep thing. But seriously. If this workout does not give me a good night's rest, I am going to have a fit.
My last and biggest complaint is that after spinning, I decided to step on the scale. Who told me to do that. Five weeks in Jamaica was enough to make me gain 5lbs. I know that might not sound like much but I was already 10 over my ideal weight before I got there. Now, instead of wanting to lose 10lbs, I have to lose 15. That just sounds like so much more than a mere 5lbs extra. (No I did not gain freshman 15, I actually lost weight my first year.) Oh, and the one person who's opinion on my physical state matters was not very good at making me feel better. I always appreciate honesty, but his attempt to make light of the situation went a little something like this:
"So, you are 18 right? Wow. If you have to do so much work now, imagine when you get older."
I know it was a joke, but I guess I am a bit more sensitive about this than I thought.
When did that happen?
When I went to the financial aid office, they told me that "according to my records, I am getting too much aid to apply for work study." (i.e just hold off on groceries and FOOD for maybe, possibly, another week - or until we decide that you've starved for long enough and now you can finally get your aid.) Needless to say, I am not too thrilled about that.
One thing I am not complaining about is the fact that after working it out personally, I realised I really am getting a good amount of aid this year. So, my pride was not that badly broken but he did make me feel like an idiot. Just a little. I am afraid to get too excited about this though, just in case it is all a lie.
2. I finally got my lazy ass to the gym. I did spinning and it was deadly. I swear I don't sweat from any other exercise as much as I do in that class. I am going to be so sore when I wake up tomorrow, which I will not complain about. I always feel that if I wake up the day after exercising and I am not sore, I did nothing more than waste time and energy. Speaking of energy my arm muscles are very weak and I am having trouble typing, so this will probably be very short and to the point. By the way, I had no idea biceps are used for typing? I thought that was strictly finger action.
Complaint number 3. I STILL DID NOT SLEEP LAST NIGHT. When I got home I was so tired that I took the quickest shower ever, got into my bed - late at that because I had gone to a social event at school - and swore to myself that I would sleep well. Wrong. I woke up at 3am. I am going to spare you today from ranting on and on about that sleep thing. But seriously. If this workout does not give me a good night's rest, I am going to have a fit.
My last and biggest complaint is that after spinning, I decided to step on the scale. Who told me to do that. Five weeks in Jamaica was enough to make me gain 5lbs. I know that might not sound like much but I was already 10 over my ideal weight before I got there. Now, instead of wanting to lose 10lbs, I have to lose 15. That just sounds like so much more than a mere 5lbs extra. (No I did not gain freshman 15, I actually lost weight my first year.) Oh, and the one person who's opinion on my physical state matters was not very good at making me feel better. I always appreciate honesty, but his attempt to make light of the situation went a little something like this:
"So, you are 18 right? Wow. If you have to do so much work now, imagine when you get older."
I know it was a joke, but I guess I am a bit more sensitive about this than I thought.
When did that happen?
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