Empathy: Before it's too late

I think it is time we talk about mental health.

We, as a society, need to talk about things like depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia etc. We need to stop turning a blind eye to those who show signs of an issue just because we can't fathom it ourselves or because it only shows through sometimes.

And, most importantly, we (myself included at times) need to get our humanity back.

It's time we put away the apathy and the insensitivity, and bring out the empathy and the understanding. You really can never ever know how far up a kind word or gesture can bring someone who is down in the depths of despair. You never know how much a soft answer can turn away a damaging, and sometimes fatal, response in someone who is emotionally VOLATILE. And you never know how much an ignored sign or an overlooked cry for help, can push someone right over the edge.

Why are we so afraid of admitting that though we may not personally identify with suicidal thoughts, that it is something that is crippling enough to others that they sometimes, unfortunately, go through with it? How many more people have to die? People of all races and socioeconomic statuses all feel the same. We all bleed the same. We all have emotions and wants and needs. We all want love. So why have we become so incapable of handling the things that cause others so much pain? Why do we ignore the warning signs only to lead to fatal consequences. Do we prefer to look back in regret, than to let go of our ego and acknowledge that a problem exists and needs to be solved before it cannot be anymore?

There's no reason why a teenager should see death as the only escape from a life barely even lived yet. There's no reason why a parent should see their death as a better option for their children. And there is even less of a reason why people should hear of suicide and be angered by it because they find it "selfish". But it happens. And it shouldn't. It is fine to admit that you don't understand what could drive someone to that point. But don't you dare, in the same breath, look down upon others because they got there. It is important to sit and think about what kind of mental state a person has to be in to take their own life, before opening your mouth and showing your lack of understanding.

Wrap your mind around it for a second. I'm willing to bet that most of you wouldn't jump off a bridge even if there is water below it and you probably won't die. So I don't know who or what gives people the idea that it would be easier to do so if there was no water, and they knew for a fact that they would die.

Suicide isn't easy. It's not something people do out of impulse. It's not the first resort. It's not a "weak" move or "the easy way out". It is a result of an extended period of suffering and long-term thought processes that led them to believing it is the only thing left that they can do to stop the pain. (Like a cancer patient deciding they don't want to fight anymore. Is that selfish too?)  Most times those who contemplate suicide genuinely believe with all of their heart that it is the best thing they can do for their families/others. They don't think of it as something they are doing for themselves. They think of it as a sacrifice. They think the world would be a better place without them. They don't see a reason to live, a reason to believe they are valued or loved. And the last thing they fucking need is someone letting them know that they are selfish or inconsiderate on top of that.

So please, stop it. The only inconsiderate person is the person criticizing someone who clearly needs help. Because instead of helping since you are of sound mind, you're pointing fingers (which by the way doesn't benefit or console anyone—not even you. It's just an ego stroke).

I see this insensitivity especially in men and people of colour. I've seen it in recent events, with Robin Williams committing suicide, where people would go back and forth spewing vitriol about how he was weak or how he was white and rich and therefore should have been happy— and was simply ungrateful. Or about how his death shouldn't be affecting people so greatly because he took his own life. I saw all of these hateful words and held in my true thoughts, as someone who has suffered through depression.

But I can't hold it in anymore. Because someone else has lost the battle—a battle I didn't even know he was fighting. I'm still in complete shock about it. He was younger than me by many years, with so much opportunity ahead. But he just couldn't see the light. All he needed was a little help. Maybe a small word of encouragement, and he could still be here.

It cuts me even deeper because I have at least three close people in my life who are suffering through depression right now, that I know of. It is hard, and very turbulent. Some days are really low, and some days are not. And there are no guarantees, sometimes no triggers. 

What I need people to understand is that it is not an emotion. Depression is not a feeling, or a state of mind, or a weakness. It is a disease. It is like a cancer of the mind that eats you up and cripples you. It is a darkness that creeps up on you at any moment and doesn't allow you to see the light. It is not something to be taken lightly, but the fatal results of it can be prevented if we simply acknowledged its existence instead of fighting against it with hateful words or ineptitude.

It is time to STOP neglecting the problem and responding to it with harshness and tough love. That is NOT the way and it is NOT working. We need working responses so we can keep people who have plenty to live for from making an irreversible decision.

The alternative is no longer an option.

P.S. Some of you may already know about my cousin whose mental issue has been neglected for the last five years from a previous blog. He has finally been granted an opportunity to possibly escape his physical confines, to which he should have never been in, and hopefully begin down a path to escaping his mental confines as well. But we need a little help with the expenses. It has been a long, emotional, expensive, and draining battle. But it is not over yet. Please, if you can, help us. The link is below.

http://www.gofundme.com/dhb1js

Thank you.

On Love, In Rambles

My mind has been centred on "love" today. On understanding that love isn't forever. Not in the form it's first experienced or experienced in this moment. 

Love is an energy. It cannot be created or destroyed, but it changes forms. It transfers from one thing to another. It doesn't stay the same all our lives. And I think holding on to the idea that it does ... That we can pin it as is to one specific person or thing forever ... is destructive.

But it's an idea so old and ingrained that trying to think of it any other way is also destructive. It destroys everything we thought and challenges us to adjust to what IT IS. Adjust to the idea that we will forever lose people we love ... No matter what we do or don't do. It isn't the love itself that makes us lose or keep them. Love isn't possession. We can't employ it as a utility to possess people or things. Love just is. It's just love. On its own, it's how we as humans communicate with each other. Everything we do and say, verbally or otherwise, either comes from a place of love or a lack of it.

And that's really all it is. A form of communication. An organic kind. An energy we are born with. We can't fully get rid of it. But we can hide it ... Use it as a shield. Or ... We can use it as a light. The light will still shine even if it's no longer dark. Even if no one is around to see it. And it will shine forever. Even after we die. But you can't attach it to anyone. The glow from the flames can light up every crevice and nook. Show our faces, insecurities. Show us where to go. Lead us in one direction or another. But we can't transfer the light into anyone else. We can only share it. Use our flames to try and light theirs. And hope that maybe it can come together as one unified flame, bringing a bigger light to the world. But eventually ... The flame itself will burn out. Whether big or small. And what then? Do we curse it for ceasing to exist? Or do we praise it for all the years of light it provided? For all the other flames that started burning because of it?

Curse it even though we have the power to light a new flame, infinitely? Even though the flames around us are in abundance ... And can continue to light the way for us, even if unintentionally?

No.

You don't curse the flame or the light for doing what it does naturally. For transferring the energy. You can't curse the light that provided you with eyes to see through unfamiliar darkness. You can't curse the light for being your guide. For lighting all the other flames that surround you and help you continue the journey even when your own light has diminished.

You appreciate it. You thank it for its gentle glow and comforting warmth. You appreciate it for all the nights that would have been darker without it, the little dance it did whenever things got a little shaky. The way it hid the parts of you that didn't matter; casted your shadow behind you instead of in your path.

You appreciate that shit. Yes. You appreciate it. Simply because it existed and, therefore, can never die. It can never not have existed. The flame continues to shine indefinitely, even if it's held by different hands.

And that is worth knowing to all of mankind.

The Power You Have

Can we talk about the law of attraction for a minute?

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and mentioned how crazy it is, when he let me know that he had never heard of it. Immediately, I thought, well I certainly don't mind being the first to tell you about it.

And that I did.

Now, I'm going to tell everyone. I want everyone to understand the power they have in this universe. We spend enough time fretting over things we cannot control and never will be able to, so perhaps you will allow me the opportunity to give you information on a power that you actually do have. It's not some crazy superhero, kinetic, or mythological power that can transport you in a way that defies the laws of physics. And it's not something that's going to help you figure out the lotto numbers – or win the lotto for that matter. It's something simple, yet powerful. Something that can literally change how everything in happens in your life.

Are you ready for it?

It's ... mind control. Not the "I can tell you what to think" type. It's the, I can tell me what to think type. The type that lets you control how you perceive, react and respond to every single thing in your life. And ultimately, all of those things will help determine what comes your way altogether. You can only attract things and people and situations that are on the same wavelength as you. If your energy is low or negative, your life will see only low and negative circumstances. If the opposite, then you'll attract the opposite as well. That being said, however, it's a lot harder than it sounds.

It isn't just about telling yourself something positive every now and then. In fact, it isn't just about telling yourself something period. It's about energy. You have to actually BELIEVE what you are saying and thinking and trying to achieve to your very core. And everything that you do/say in your life should stem from that place. This is what most people call "passion". When you follow your passion, really and truly follow it with no inhibitions and nothing but the blind faith that it will take you where you need to go, the entire universe will conspire in your favour. 

Take me, for example. When I started this blog five years ago I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. I didn't expect to open up to strangers on the internet, I didn't expect to affect anyone's life at all – I didn't even think anyone was going to be interested enough to read it. So, for the first few years, I played it pretty safe. I mostly wrote in the beginning about adventures and funny stories, "what I did today" kinds of things, until life hit me. And I realised, writing was my therapy. It was my passion. I already had this blog and a small audience, so I just started to write. I started to actually express myself; be real and vulnerable and open. Since then, so many positive things have come toward me that I'm sure I have lost count. I have been able to help and touch and inspire sooo many people through my words. Those are the things in life that I think are priceless. And those are just the things I know about. That is, also, just one example.

This year, I redirected my energy entirely and through that redirection I have managed to attract so many like-minded people into my atmosphere. I have attracted so much intellect and encouragement and positivity in my life just by radiating it to others. I have also, given away a lot of it to those who needed it. I've carried many with me on my ascension. How can any of that ever be a bad thing? What harm does it do me to be positive and thus attract positivity?

There's no catch to the law of attraction. Once you've mastered the mind control, which in my opinion is the hardest part, everything else literally falls into place. It's beautiful.

That being said, however, it does not apply the same to material things and possessions (these things have no energy). You can't wish yourself to win the lotto or to find extra money in your bank account. BUT, you can wish yourself into more success, by putting actual energy into your work performance; believing in yourself and your abilities, going in every day with a positive attitude and radiating it throughout the work environment. If you do that, you will find that you attract so much more than just a raise. You find yourself being a lot happier and a lot more grateful for the path you are on that takes you there every day.

And since I've mentioned it, let me take a minute to speak on gratitude.

I understand not all of us believe in a higher power, but I strongly believe that gratitude supersedes faith and religion. I find it very hard to believe that even atheists are not thankful to be alive every day, thankful for their jobs, family, and basic blessings like water, light and shelter. That being said, if you try to wake up every day and say out loud "I AM THANKFUL FOR ANOTHER DAY!" I can almost guarantee that that small gesture alone, can make your entire day – and ultimately life – go so much better. I swear by gratitude because when I was down on my knees, crying to whomever I think is listening, it was gratitude that picked me back up.

Being in Jamaica and not always waking up with light or water, got me on the path of overcoming my depression. Every day I woke up was a reminder that someone else didn't. Every time I got up in the morning to use the bathroom and could actually flush the toilet and wash my hands, was a reminder that some people couldn't. Every time I was able to turn the light on to see where I was going when I got home at night, was a reminder that it wasn't guaranteed. Every time I was actually able to get up at all, and use the bathroom without any help or any pain, was a reminder that somewhere, someone has long forgotten how it feels to stand on their own two feet, let alone control when they use the bathroom. Being thankful for all of it, for the small things and the big things, helped me overcome the worst. And subsequently, simply being grateful changes your energy entirely. It helps you to start looking at the glass not as half full of water, but entirely full if you include the air at the top that we need to breathe.

So, I encourage you to try it. Practise gratitude in your every day life. Think about everything you have right now that can possibly be taken away from you, and start appreciating all of it. OUT LOUD. When you wake up in the morning, talk to yourself (or God) and say thank you. Really feel it and mean it. And then, when you have that down, practise mind control in its entirety. It won't always be easy, but it's time to take control of the power you have as an intelligent life-form. Change the frequency on which you choose to operate every day, and turn it up a few notches if it is low. Radiate love and good vibes only, then watch how your life unfolds.

And never forget: it is when you feel least able to be thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you.

Cheers.