Monday, 30 June 2014

A Life of Purpose

A series of events led to me sitting in my car at the end of my lunch break, reaching into the door pocket to pull out a card I was instructed to not read until that moment. I had absolutely no idea what to expect from it, but when I was done – and after a conversation with a close friend, every thing became clear.

Suddenly, because of this card, everything that has happened in my life up until this very moment now makes complete sense. 

As I got back into my office and turned on my Ed Sheeran album on Spotify, I started to cry. I started to cry because the sense of enlightenment that I felt as a result of reading the card, came in tandem with a deep feeling of loneliness that I think I have always felt deep down inside, just tried to never acknowledge. But now, I understand it. 

After all these years trying to figure out why I lose interest in people so quickly, why I spend so much time hesitating on things any sensible person would normally jump on without a second thought, why I can't ever seem to convince myself to stick around, why I always end up hurt and alone even when I've been so good to people, why people seem to just come and go despite how much I give, why my burden is always so heavy, and why it seems I am the only one carrying it. I finally understand.

My life was never meant for me.

I've been trying hard all year to let go of the picture I had in my head of how my life should be, to understand why the world sent people for me to build up, meanwhile they tear me down. I have been trying to figure out why it seems I have never been good enough for anyone; how I can manage to heal people, yet somehow steer them right into the arms of someone else. Why I always end up alone, and oftentimes misunderstood. Why my last relationship came to the terms that it did in the end after so many years of dedication. But the card somehow helped me to realise that despite the hurt, all the pain hidden behind my eyes ... it's because of him why I am able to help so many others. It's such a bittersweet trade off. But I now see it clearly that it's something he would have never understood. He would have never understood this part of me. He was never meant to.

I'd have been in the relationship alone. I was. For years.

I sat down almost two months ago and poured my heart out the best way I know how, shedding tears along the way, because I felt I had to put it on paper. I had even convinced myself I needed to print it, fold it up, put it in an envelope and deliver it. And for a while, I was so sure that it was the right move. I was so sure that it was what the universe was telling me to do. Then one night, in the middle of an intense exchange with the most important person in my life, that came about in the most bizarre way, I realised ... I didn't want to send it anymore. The closure I had been seeking came from a totally different source and rendered my letter obsolete, superfluous almost.

After that, the universe continued sending me distractions. The roadblocks seemed never-ending until I finally decided I wasn't going to send it. I intercepted the delivery, and each day since then I've had a reminder of why it was a good idea to do so. Every day. The universe wouldn't even allow me to send the letter. It doesn't want us together. And it took reading that card in my car today – from someone else entirely, for me to finally realise why. 

I unknowingly gave up the only love I've ever known inside and out to help and heal people I haven't yet met, before I even knew I was doing it. I've given up what I thought would be with me forever, to be elsewhere as a beacon of light for other people who will only ever be around temporarily.

My purpose in life was never to settle into a quiet, low-key life with my first love in the hills where no one can find me. And I fought the universe year after year after year going after this. My life has always been meant for others. From the very moment I started this blog I have been yours. I am here for you. Every single one of you. I was never meant to be possessed by any one person. And as painful as it may sometimes be, to give up all of yourself and sometimes, most times, get nothing in return, I have no choice but to gracefully accept my purpose, and to fulfill it to the best of my ability.

Maybe one day my Earthly guide will come too. And if I am so lucky, I will accept it with open arms. But if not, if I should die alone knowing only that every life I ever touched was improved, then my death will be pleasant. Because my life would have been purposeful and complete. And that's all we ever need to be at peace.

A selfless life isn't always the best life but it has the most heart-warming rewards, even if it hurts sometimes.

Especially, if it hurts sometimes.

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

You Get What You Eat

I've noticed a lot of young people, men especially, take healthy eating for a joke, which is fine of course if it's actually an informed decision you're choosing to make.

What isn't funny, though, is that 1 in 3 people develop cancer. ONE in THREE. That means if you have two friends, one of you could be the lucky one. And typically, a cancer patient spends around $50,000 on treatment. (Big business!) It's not a contagious disease, yet the statistics seem to be multiplying with a swiftness. I'm not a doctor, and I certainly won't claim to be. But it makes you wonder ... where does the epidemic unnatural disease come from? And why is it spreading so quickly? (In the early 1900s, one in 20 people developed cancer. In the 1940s, one in 16 people developed cancer. In the 1970s, it was one in 1 in 10.)

According to what I've gathered from the research I've done thus far, diet is one place. The rapid growth of cancer is partly a result of years and years of unhealthy crap in the form of chemically induced, antibiotic-injected, and genetically modified food. (Keep eating antibiotics in your food and guess what? Eventually you build up immunity to antibiotics. No bueno. We're in 2014 and have people dying from a simple staff infection. Even the crops and animals have started building up immunity to the pesticides used on them.) Sugar (fructose), exercise, sleep habits, protein, and exposure to toxins/radiation from microwaves, air freshners, cell phones etc. all play a role, too, as well as other things, like the new lifestyle we've adopted that separates us from the outside world more often than not. (Congress, btw, recently passed a law so that GMO (genetically modified) ingredients don't need to be labeled as such. Yay secrecy!)

We do and eat a lot of unnatural things in this time period that I feel are starting to have their effects on our bodies.

Healthy eating, for one, isn't just about not eating McDonald's, even though that's a good start. It's also about picking food that isn't filled with preservatives, hormones, pesticides and other chemicals, and eating raw, local, and fresh foods that are not genetically modified more often. It doesn't necessarily mean you need to stop eating animals, but hey, if you want to clog your arteries with bacon at least do it with swine that isn't created in a lab. The meat industry feeds us animals that were sick their whole lives because of the disgusting conditions in which they were kept, and it's OK to do so because they give them medicines to cure their sickness. We are eating heavily medicated animals. All because we insist on overeating and thus overproducing to feed our insatiable appetites – even though there aren't enough animals in the world to satisfy the "need" we have created.

Now, I won't stand on my podium here and try to convince anyone in any way to stop eating animals. That's not my place or choice to make. I don't have anything against carnivores, as they exist naturally in the universe, and I was once one myself. My problem is that we aren't doing it right. Mankind is a smarter and more advanced species than the rest of the animals in the kingdom. We can practically create anything to help facilitate our "needs", but that shouldn't extend to diet. If we as a species have gotten to a point where we overeat so much that there isn't enough real, naturally occurring food to satiate us, then we are doing something wrong. If we have to turn to machines and scientists to supply us with an unnatural version of the food we would otherwise be getting from the earth then SOMETHING IS WRONG. Foods are supposed to have seasons. Things don't grow and produce year-round. Why can't we adjust according to the way the Earth provides for us, instead of adjusting the way the Earth provides for us according to our "needs"? What kind of shit is that?

This, in my opinion, was the beginning of cancer.

For those who don't know, cancer is, to put it simply, the overproduction of cells. It means your body is overproducing cells at such a rate that it is essentially creating more of you, in the form of a tumor, because it isn't getting the correct signals from your body. It's a mutation of the human form. The body is reproducing cells in a response to the lack of something it thinks it is experiencing. And for nearly 40 years, the United States has spent more than $200 billion "trying" to find a cure. (Kinda like how they spend $50+ billion a year on the "war on drugs", which is also both created and supplied by them. But I digress.) Still, most doctors can't even tell you why cancer medicine is such a failure. Even cancer-detection technology, namely the mammogram, which isn't even that good at early detection any way, has been shown to increase the risk of cancer because of its radiation. Plus, the risk of radiation is apparently higher among younger women. The National Cancer Institute released evidence that, among women under 35, mammography could cause 75 cases of breast cancer for every 15 it identifies. (Yes, that is a link you can click on for more information.)

There's another study that shows Chemotherapy only benefits 1 in 20 people. Chemotherapy, in my opinion, is an AWFUL solution. Chemo is a form of radiation itself and it kills every thing. Not just cancer cells. Everything. Why is that OK? When they have other much easier and less debilitating cures like sour sop, moringa and guinea hen? (More links.) Because it's a business. All of the viable treatments and preventative measures are pushed under the rug by the big bad pharmaceutical companies and organisations like the FDA that we think have our best interest at heart. Sad to say, but money means more to them than our lives. The people in control of the medical industry make billions off the disease. Billions. And they choose money over humanity every time. They've realised they can make more by keeping people alive and sick than killing them, hence the success rates of "treatment" have improved.

Meanwhile even simply going out in the sun more often can be useful in preventing cancer. Some research shows that vitamin-D deficiency plays a crucial role in cancer development. We are animals. We weren't built to spend most of our lives indoors, sitting down behind a computer or television screen for hours on end every day. Of course doing so would have to have some effects – because everything in the natural world is dependent on each other.  The sun is a necessary part of the circle of life. It is here for a reason. When I say #LovetheEarth, I mean love everything about the natural world – including each other. Don't underestimate the role of mother nature in everything that exists. Understand your role as part of the animal kingdom that you share with every other living thing. And never for a second believe that you, as a human, are any greater than the fish, the stars, the wind, the insects. That belief, I think, is what brought us here in the first place.

Time for an overhaul.

Do your research though. There's an open market of information available to each of us. I personally know people who have rid themselves of cancer through diet alone. No reason people should still be dying from it in 2014. Don't be discouraged by price tags either. If you do it right, healthy eating is really not that expensive.

Still, you can either pay for your health while you've still got it, or pay ten times as much to get it back. Your choice. But if you don't want your laughter to end abruptly by a deadly and overly expensive diagnosis, perhaps you should consider joining the natural movement and extend it to diet, not just hair.

What have you got to lose?