Monday 26 July 2010

Love & Marriage

Growing up in a family full of men, I was never the type to fantasize about a fairy-tale relationship with a breath-taking wedding and a happily ever after.

Sure I read the books and saw the movies: I know all about the beautiful princesses who kissed the frog and lived under the sea, the evil witches who handed out poisonous fruit and sleeping spells, the stepmother who turned her stepdaughter into a maid, and their subsequent happy endings. All of that was nice to think about and good to read, but let's face it, stories are just stories--and that is all they will ever be.

These days we are so far from fairy-tales that I don't even think people still teach their kids about Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, or Rapunzel. It is hard enough for a child to observe a healthy and stable home life without both parents, what good would it do to teach them about something that you as a parent have not even been able to find.

I don't think we remember how important it is to have a mother and father present at home. It's more than just a picturesque faรงade; it provides your child with proper stability, morals, and understanding of the value of a family unit. I know I recently said that "do as I say not as I do" makes sense; but when it comes to basic childhood moulding, what you see is much more impressionable than what you hear. And although those first few years of life are what create each of us, it does not mean that it is okay to walk out on a teenager or adolescent.

Relationships at home are insight to the relationships we will eventually have. You might never have heard it in this context but what you see is certainly what you get--unless of course you make a serious effort to change that.

This blog is not dedicated to bashing humanity, though I am sure I could go on for days. I was inspired by a friend of mine, not much older than I am, who recently married the love of his life. I knew he was crazy about her but I never expected him to take that next step. Still, I cannot say how proud I am that he did. I am so used to being disappointed by people's relationships, whether it's because they break up or because one of them exercises bad judgement, but it always hurts me when I see a promising young couple break-up. As weird as that sounds, I know I am not the only hopeless romantic who looks on to other couple's hoping they make it through this rough world.

I've always felt like if you truly love someone there's no limit to the things you will do to maintain a relationship with that person. The little things that people allow to break them up after so long are not supposed to be that powerful. People are too quick to jump up and talk about independency and the death of chivalry, but no one is willing to compromise anymore. Women seem to have something to prove by paying for their own meal or opening their own door, and then they want to complain when a guy does not do it for them. Well, what do you expect when we don't teach them how to do things like that anymore or appreciate the very few who do?

I think the world is confused. We no longer know what we want from others or what is acceptable. Something so conventional as marriage now seems like a foreign concept. Gays and lesbians are fighting for it more than the traditional couples. No one believes in the sanctity of marriage anymore; in fighting to keep families together. No one believes in love. No one believes in forever.

But who do you think created that monster?

We did; that's who.

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