Monday, 28 September 2009

Rewind That for Me. Just Once.

I saw a commercial yesterday that I think is more than worth a blog. It took me back to a time when I wondered why I live in this aristocratic country amongst so much ignorance and corruption.

The commercial said, and I quote, "FREE HEALTH CARE: is not a guarantee that you will keep your doctor.. Is not a guarantee that you won't have to wait longer.. is not a guarantee that you will get treated.." Wow. These words lingered in my mind for a while, building up my anger letter by letter. I am no economist and I never watch the news. I cannot tell you what is going on in the world, or name every government official. I can only give you my opinion - based on what I do know.

Over the summer holiday I was introduced by a great friend of mine to a few videos - some of which I am still skeptical to watch. (The truth hurts sometimes.) Of these videos, the two I did manage to watch, were complete eye openers. The first was The Esoteric Agenda. Google it; and I will leave it at that.

The second, which was much less frightening, was Sicko - a movie released in 2007 by Mr. Farenheit 9/11 himself, Michael Moore. It was a movie about health care. Sounds boring enough doesn't it? Well, I thought so too, until I actually sat down and watched it. Since that first time, I would like to estimate that I have seen it about 5 times. (I even watched the bonus features and concluded that I need to move to Norway.)

The best part of the general theme, was that it could have easily been about the 46 million people in America who do not have health care and who would mostly rather ignore their illnesses than ever set foot in a doctor's office. But it was not. It was about the millions of people who are insured, mostly as a part of their job's benefits.

It shed some light on the endless list of diseases that your health insurance will not cover, and how most of those with insurance have to get their illness approved before the insurance company does anything to help them. Even 9/11 heroes, who in turn developed respiratory diseases, have to fight for the attention of the government. Those who may not have been firefighters or police officers, but who risked their lives to go into the rubble and try to find people. The reason they cannot get health care? Because they were not "on government payroll." (In other words, who the hell told you to be a good Samaritan?)

It discussed the difference between our system and that of Canada, England, France, and even Cuba, and how the doctors there are doctors because they genuinely care about the well-being of their patients. (What a concept!) It talked about how sick people in said countries, even those who are just vacationing, can walk in and out of a hospital without dropping a penny. In fact, in England, they reimburse your trip to the hospital had it cost you anything.

More importantly, it also talked about how American companies will bend over backwards to ensure that its people do not get free, universal health care. But why?

This brings me back to the commercial. When I saw it I could not help but have a flashback to said movie. Obama is currently on the chopping block because he is pushing for universal health care, as was Hilary during her husband's presidency, another topic covered by Moore in Sicko. Did we forget that when we voted for Obama, we voted for change? Why then are we being so close-minded and hypnotized by those who are simply in it for the money? How can ANYONE tell me that this country does not need a health care reform?

Still, someone dropped majour dollars to broadcast dozens of anti free-healthcare commercials in order to influence the mass of otherwise ignorant people to believe that FREE healthcare is a bad thing. I am in disbelief. Private companies are so afraid that they will have to stop over-charging innocent people for medicines they need to stay alive. The thought of saving someone's life by simply giving them the medicine or treatment they need is so far-fetched that they, along with some government officials of course, deemed it completely necessary to air commercials like those. People who cannot stand the thought of getting $5million a year instead of the 10 or 20 they get from stealing lives and money. Unbelievable.

Greed is going to be the death of this country.

Old Habits Die Hard

I am back to my insomniac ways.

Due to recent events, I think 'tis safe to conclude that I can only sleep when I have a clear mind. It seems as if the stars only aligned for my birthday with some kind of plea bargain that ended as soon as the weekend did; because aside from said weekend, September has been a disappointment.

I am somewhat flabbergasted that I am even able to pay any attention to my schoolwork, but I managed to spend the past weekend reading and summarising all 7 chapters of that Spanish novel I told you about.

As for the tests I took last week, surely I proved myself right in a complete oxymoron kind of way. It always happens that when I leave a test feeling confident with the ease of which I was able to answer each question, I always manage to disappoint myself. But if I take a test and swear up and down that I failed it, I end up passing with flying colours. How does this happen? How is it that the class I pay the least attention to is the class I am doing the best in?

No doubt my grammar test was the hardest last week. I walked out feeling as if I mixed up a verbal clause with a verbal phrase. I had a hard time using "imagine" as a noun, and I kept confusing myself in regards to complex and compound sentences. When we got back the test papers today, I was the last to turn it over, only to reveal a B printed in the top left-hand corner. Normally, I do not rejoice for B's, but it being the hardest test of the semester, I think I can be satisfied.

As for the "easy" statistics test, I will just mention that my grade is not a proper reflection of that adverb. (Perhaps I should have used another.) I am in such a state of disbelief that I must go to the office hours and see it for myself. I actually studied for that test. When do I ever study for anything? Not even my grammar test was so lucky.

Lastly, my world religions class. When was the last time you heard me talk about that class? Never? Perhaps. I got an A on that test - despite the fact that I missed the review for no real reason, am always walking in 15 minutes late if at all, and spend most of the class time on my phone.

Yeah, I never cease to amaze myself.

Friday, 25 September 2009

From My Heavy Heart

After I wrote my blog yesterday depicting my less than wonderful day, I got some news I was completely unprepared for - though I had been waiting since April to hear it.

I woke up this morning hoping it was all just a bad dream only to realise that it is very much real.

It was literally about an hour after I laid down my complaints on this thing that I heard the news - through facebook chat at that. I was alone in my room at the time and to say I had no idea what to do with myself would be a total understatement.

I was in the middle of trying to get some work done, and I had planned to study for the test I have today; needless to say, it never happened.

The next thing I knew I was on Alafaya with my purse, my iPod, and my phone. Who to call and what to say? I had no idea. Every time something goes wrong I always feel as if I am the only one going through it, but that is only because I am away from my family and it hits our home, not anyone else's. So I just decided to walk until I ended up where God wanted me to be.

I walked for about an hour until I found this small hill just off the road. I knew before I fully approached it that that was where I was to end up. The sun was setting on the lake behind it and there wasn't too much traffic. I figured if it ended up that I'd sleep there overnight then by all means, I was ready to do so.

In the midst of my slight irrationality, I managed to worry a few people. I never meant to be "selfish," but please excuse my uncontrollable reaction. No doubt you were only concerned, but I needed some time away from myself, my phone, my computer, my room - everything.

Four hours later, I ended up on the stairs of my apartment building, and my phone ended up on the road 3 stories below me - after I angrily deleted all of my BB contacts. I had hoped a car would drive over it, but I went downstairs a few minutes later to find that not only was it still in one piece, but it still worked.

I write to you today from my battered and bruised blackberry, with an even more battered and bruised heart.

I tried my best to sleep the pain away last night, but it is still very much present.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

Ready, Set, Fetal Position.

Today was a bad day.

I woke up early for an appointment, spent too much time and money there, and ate way too much at a Japanese restaurant where I was told that I ate the last caramel banana spring roll last night when I patronised said restaurant. Excuse me, what? I thought desserts were made on a daily basis?


I won't talk about the water that had powdery white stuff on the bottom either. The same water I never usually drink because it is Orlando and I swear they have never heard of filters. Too bad I was broke and needed something to wash down the pill I had to take. It also did not help that I discovered the substance after I had already downed about half the cup, and my amiga was on her second.

Further, I am overwhelmed, to say the least, with all of the work I have to do this weekend alone. I have to read 7 chapters and do a half page summary of each chapter for a book I have yet to receive in the mail. Oh, and let me not forget to mention - the book is in Spanish. (Speaking of the mail, I am still waiting on my colour ink that UPS claimed they delivered on the 16th!)

Reading seven chapters of a book of preference is like cutting ice cream, but unwillingly reading one in a different language is like cutting open those plastic things that certain electronics come in. (You know, like the ones in Best Buy that after about five minutes of aggressive impatience you have to stop yourself from thinking they really never meant for you to open it in the first place.)

What really set me off in my bad mood though, or maybe "bad" is the wrong word, is that I decided to tell my life story to someone who I thought should know it. No problem there except for the fact that I never realised how many bad memories I had forced myself to forget, and how undoubtedly difficult it was to go through them all over again in my head.

Yes, I admit, I have plenty of baggage. The saddest part of it is that after about 2 or 3 hours of my rambling, I realised that I really only skimmed the waters. There is so much more that remains untouched. The many incidents I have tried to consign to oblivion are now revisiting me and carrying me to a place I forgot existed.

It makes me wonder if the smile I slap on every day is just a pitiful cover up for a girl with way too many problems to even remember half of them.

The worst part of all of this is the Essay I have to write for my Grammar class tomorrow about a "humourous" experience from my childhood. Oxymoron much?

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

So About That Nap..

I most definitely got about 15 hours of sleep last night. What a drastic improvement from the usual tossing and turning endeavor that keeps me awake all night.

My first grammar test is tomorrow, and I cannot say I feel completely confident. Partly because I missed the review to go to the airport, and partly because phrases and clauses are rather confusing.

Let me explain that airport thing. The person who was supposed to carry myself and him to the airport had a sporadic test to take. Leaving us one hour before the flight with absolutely no ride. I exhausted my "friends" for the favour until I realised most of my friends up here do not drive. My old roomies were my first calls - I figured if I could count on anyone - but they all had class. No hard feelings, since it was super last minute. (When I say last minute I mean really.)

To add to the stress of trying to find a ride, I was halfway across my entirely too large neighbourhood checking my mail when it started to pour. (I tell you all the time Florida's weather is unpredictable. What is it; You do not believe me?) By the time we got back to my room, we were drenched with water and had to put things together, change clothes, and rush out to catch the taxi that we ultimately had to pay a deadly $50 for those 22 miles to the airport.

Then after we saw the person off, my friend Bee-Marie and I were stranded at the airport for a few minutes. Thankfully Orlando Airport is like a mini-mall and we managed to pass the time until our ride came by taking pictures with Goofy and Snow white. I am sure all the little kids were looking at us and wondering "Sup with those girls? That's MY GOOFY!"

Now can you see why I was tired? After my fun-filled weekend, and weeks of sleepless nights I think it was long overdue.

Is it mushy to hold hands with a significant other? I seem to be the only one in the world who does not think so. It probably does show affection, but I think it is a much more acceptable way to publicly do so without swapping spit and without making someone want to throw-up. Sometimes it says "You're mine and I'd like to show you off to the world," other times it is more like "hey let us pretend we are lesbians so that ugly guy over there does not come over."

Why do I do it then? Because it makes me feel safe, in either instance. Everyone needs a hand to hold right? Both figuratively and literally.

So where do you draw the line? When is it acceptable to hold hands? I am not sure; but I think if you can take it for what it is then it is just holding hands. Nothing more, nothing less. Make it more complicated than that and well, it will be.

Bee-Marie gets the photo cred for this one..

Monday, 21 September 2009

Just Keep Swimming

Wow. This is horrible.

It has been a week and a day since my last post. It was about my broken Blackberry and how much I hate dislike it. Well, it is fixed now and I do not hate it as much as I did a week ago when I sat down and passionately put that blog together in about five minutes.

What is with me anyway? It is almost the end of September and I am only on blog number six. I actually wrote more frequently when I was on vacation. Who does that? How can I be a writer when I have nothing to say? Or is it that my life is so boring and monotonous now that I am in school, that it is not worth writing about.

Anyway, enough of that drag. I had my first statistics test today and I have to say it was pretty easy. We are allowed one sheet of paper, front and back, of notes to use on the test; so if I did badly it would be quite the disappointment. Like the smart student I am, and in preparation for my busy weekend, I made my notes sheet on Friday - and it did not even full the front page.

Speaking of said "busy weekend," my birthday weekend was a success. Even though I did not get to spend it with my family, as I have always done, the people who I did spend it with made it very special. We went out on Saturday to a Jamaican club and then we went for Sushi on Sunday - which by the way was hilarious. (I know, 19 is just a filler year so what's with the grand celebration? Well people seem to think birthday's are slightly important. Maybe because the world is ending. )

After midnight the thrill was gone and I realised I had a test at 9 am this morning. I missed out on way too much sleep though, what with the non-stop phone calls and such. I am thinking to take a nap as soon as I am done writing then I plan to wake up and get back into school mode.

This is my first hell week. So it was a good weekend, but now it is back to the books. I have a test in every class and I have to begin reading "Bendiceme Ultima" for Spanish.

Wake me up when September ends.

Sunday, 13 September 2009

Say It Ain't So

I never thought this day would come; but alas, it has arrived.

I am reconsidering this whole blackberry thing. Yes, that means I am starting to dislike the damned thing. Why? Well there are a few reasons. I guess this calls for a list.

1. I was always the one to strive on being unique. I loved it when I had things no one else had, or when I was the leader and not the follower. In many respects, I can be considered a "leader" in this blackberry world, because most of the lovely folks on my bbm list got theirs after me. Still, there is such a large group of crackberry addicts walking around, phone in hand, that it is hard to tell who started what. And at this point, it probably does not even matter anymore.

2. People seem to feel free to give out my pin to whoever asks for it. Have you ever thought that maybe, possibly, I did not want that person to have my pin? Perhaps the reason why they have to ask you for it?

3. Not just because we both have a blackberry do we need to add each other. You know we have not held a decent conversation in years, and you are just going to collect dust on my list as I will on yours. You do not have to worry, it will not offend me if I see you with your bb and I don't have your pin. Spare me !

4. Somehow, I always manage to have some kind of stalker who decides to message me something crazy that makes it seem as if we are the best of friends or - God forbid - anything beyond that. Something that would get me in trouble if that special someone was to get a hold of it. (Yes I am still bitter about that.) Why would you do that? Who really knows. All I am saying is that this could all be avoided if people did not give out my pin.

5. Blackberry's are far too interactive. I remember when I used to say "why do I need all of those complicated things on a phone? Internet for what when I have a computer. As long as it can make and receive phone calls and text messages, I am fine." I am starting to go back to that phase now. I really wish UCF did not contact me through facebook, or I would have deleted it ages ago. As for my messenger list, I will certainly be doing some fall cleaning.

6. Have you ever been to a party or social gathering and looked around? The only people who you will see with their noses in their phones are blackberry owners. What ever happened to having a social life? Like a real social life, not a cyber one. We are becoming way too impersonal now. People are so hesitant these days to pick up the phone and call someone. Or to walk over and say hi. They would rather pull out the bb and send a message that says "I see you." Seriously? If the person is within walking distance I deem it necessary that you get your lazy ass up and walk over to them and say "Hey. " (So this is what you look like in person. I almost forgot.)

7. Speaking of text messaging, I thoroughly and strongly dislike texting. PLEASE do not text me to start a conversation. I will accept if it you have one thing to say, but to text me and say "hello" like you intend on having me by my phone for the next hour or more responding to you every 2minutes. It is not going to happen. If it is that important, I gather, you can pick up the phone and call me.

8. I am not destructive. But I need a phone that does not fall apart so easily.

We are concentrating on the huge hole in the centre where the trackball used to be. (Which also happens to be the only way to do anything on the stupid phone.)

Need I say more ?

Thursday, 10 September 2009

Only The Best Month Ever

School, birthdays, and staying healthy is really kicking my ass this month.

Most of the important people will be celebrating their birthday this month, if not already. I have been preoccupied with schoolwork, and I have finally gotten over my lonely spell. I feel totally horrible that I have not been writing in my blog, but I guess nothing fascinating has happened between now and Monday. Hopefully that will soon change.

So for lack of anything better to write about, I will make this about my plans for this weekend. I do not have many, but tomorrow is my old roomie's birthday. Apparently we will be going to a restaurant called "Texas de Brazil." It is buffet style with a whole lot of meat, and there will be a nice group of us. The only problem? I do not eat meat. But I hear they do not allow people into buffets without paying first. I'm not sure if I am willing to pay $25 to not eat. But I must attend!

On another note, my birthday is coming up as well. I'm thinking about going to Islands of Adventure. (Its my attempt to subside the nostalgia I have been feeling since my last blog.) It is also my attempt at escaping the schoolwork. I figure I have lived in Orlando for about a year now, and I have not patronised any of the theme parks or water parks. ('Sup with that?)

Everyone is invited ! UCF students get practically a 50% discount to go there, which I am super thankful for. So yes, I will take full advantage of that on my day of birth.

As for the school aspect of my life, I think I am being a huge baby right now. My work-load really is not that much, or rather it is not anything I cannot handle. Aside from the grammar class that I so much adore, I am also taking Spanish, World Religion, and Statistics. The latter two are the ones I have payed the least attention to.

Hinduism does fascinate me, but I have trouble refraining from the blackberry in between note-taking. Stats on the other hand; I will take full responsibility for my confusion. I am certain the information is not complicated, but I think I can count on one hand how many times I have been to that class since the semester began. Wait wait. Before you shake your head, let me argue this a little. What sense is it to go to class when you do not pay attention? Or rather, when the notes are all online!

Furthermore, I have been to every lab, (which happens to be at 10 30am on Fridays) and the discussion is not the important part anyway. All I need to do is get myself to pay attention in there and then I will be fine.

What can I say. My brain is still on Vacation.

Monday, 7 September 2009

Wyndham Weekend

I suppose after a long holiday weekend like the one that just passed you would expect me to write some kind of interesting blog about what I did, what I did not do, and a tv-worthy incident I can rhetorically dramatise.

Well, I have none. I spent the weekend relaxing at a hotel in Orlando with brother unlucky, brother lizi, mother dearest, her friends, and their children. We did pool things, played kalooki, did random living room aerobics, talked, slept, and most importantly, ATE.

I swear I gained back the 5lbs I thought I lost after being in college for 2 weeks. (Did I tell you? I went on another scale and it read 110. That is more like it.)

I also went shopping. How could I forget? I finally got my financial aid, and abused it by going to my fave outlet mall. I spent way too much money, but let's not talk about it. The good part is that I feel much better with life. Not that I'm a material girl, but it felt good to update my wardrobe for the first time since I graduated high school. I would say that is long over-due.

On to the more important shopping. Groceries. I was finally able to buy water and food for my apartment. Now I can start cooking again instead of starving myself. It almost makes me excited to go back to school, but that is only until I remember the "schoolwork" part of this whole ordeal. Then it becomes quite depressing. Life after 18 is just work, work, more work, and that is it. When do we get to just relax, travel the world, and be merry? The in between time is definitely not enough.

Can I be 6 again; please?

Friday, 4 September 2009

Headless Chicken-ing

Yesterday was incredibly stressful, to say the least.

Why is it so hard to find a decent blackberry for $130 from Craigslist ? Because it is Craigslist. I've spent the past week juggling school, trying to sleep, trying to salvage my social life so loneliness does not kill me, and the most stressful part, TRYING TO FIND A BLACKBERRY.

Now, I know what you are thinking. How can I expect to find one for so cheap. Well, finding one was not the problem. The problem was that most people decided to just ignore me. I am still trying to figure out why. I figure if you are really trying to sell something you should pay attention to your buyers. It is just common etiquette, don't you think?

Then for those who did get back to me, it was either sold, being sold "right now," or the add was supposed to be removed. From this, I have concluded, everyone in Orlando wants a blackberry. I literally sat on my [blackberry] all week on Craigslist refreshing the page; throughout class, my sleepless nights, and everything in between. It was so ridiculous that I even had to venture onto the South Florida and Gainesville listings in hopes that they would have something to offer.

Well, I will say that I saw some very good offers, and that those people actually got back to me. (Good ol' M.I.A.) So that meant I had to send the money down there and rely on one of my good friends - who I appreciate very much !! - to drive around and hunt for me. Horrible. Turns out, the pictures did way too much justice to ones guy's 8310 and to sum it up, I was not going to pay him $115 for that.

Eventually, I just got frustrated, felt bad that my friend was wasting his gas for me, and just decided to stick to Orlando. But the story does not end there.

The rest of this is like a movie. The lovely fellow I was supposed to meet yesterday at 12 30 was nowhere to be seen. He told me before he left the house that he has no cell phone, and for obvious reasons, I told him to meet me at the student union - the most public place I could think of. I figured somewhere with plenty of people would work perfectly, but as it turns out, we were both there looking around for over half an hour, and never met up. (Too many people perhaps.)

Had we done this, my headless chickening (as I call it) could have ended at 12 30am yesterday, after almost a week. But my life likes to be much more adventurous than that.

After wasting my excitement and 45 minutes of my day, I realised that I had scheduled to meet with another bb seller at 3 at the library. So after class, I did just that. I examined it, or so I thought, and decided it was worth the $80 I was offered. That is, until I got home and realised the camera does not work. Shoot me in the eye. Thankfully, though, the $80 guy was not a jerk about it, and allowed me to get back my money.

How could I not have checked the camera? Maybe because I was so happy to just finally buy the damned thing and be done with it. In return, I had to swallow my pride and call back the fellow who drove all the way to my school with his wife and children to sell me the phone, and who ended up thinking "it was some sick college-kid prank."

Here is the best part. My adventure to Mr. 12 30's house. Being car-less, my first feat was to find a ride. Thankfully, I have a good enough reputation that I was actually loaned a car for the night. I am not a big fan of driving other people's cars, but desperation does not look good on me.

I have to say, his car was by far the most amusing part of my day - I am definitely going to come up with a name for it. No air condition, windows that cannot be rolled down, and non-existent head lights (or rather we will call them head-dims.) The good thing? It drives, so I drove it to pick up my friend because there was no way I'd be going to a man's house at 10pm alone.

Good thing I got the company.

At first, his wife's friendliness was creepy, to say the least. "Come inside and close the door. We're not going to bite." They were outside waiting when I pulled up, standing by the "kidnapping van" that was in their driveway. You know, those white vans that are in all the action movies involving kindappings, drugs, or some other high-tech, top-secret, mission.

The neighborhood was not terrible, but of course they had to live on the deadend road. Driving by the "no outlet" sign made me feel like the star of a scary movie. Thankfully though, they turned out to be pretty okay. So okay that they gave me a jump. Yes, the car battery died on me right outside of the house. Would you believe it? If something did not go wrong, I would not be Meisha.

Now I bet you are wondering, where does my headless chicken-ing end? To answer you, I do not know either. I love the phone thus far, but of course I do have a complaint. It is locked. Completely locked. It says I need a password to get into it, and I have no idea what that even means. Mr. 12 30 says all I have to do is carry it to At&t and they will surpass that, and I sure hope he is right. My time, and patience are wearing thin. The phone has to be sent off on Sunday, and I still have to unlock it for use with a Digicel simcard.

So if it does not work, I think I might quit life.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Andrew's Last Year

I apologise for missing a blog yesterday. Apparently people look forward to reading these things. Who would have guessed?

Well I guess I can begin by explaining why I have not written since my Happy Monday. (No it is not because I did not sleep and am tired of complaining to my cyber-readers.) I actually slept very well last night - well enough to sleep right through my 9 30am statistics class, but we won't talk about that. I figured my health is just a tad more important than my pretending to retain any information that flows out of the mouth of Ms. Over-Excited-Much.

It certainly did not help that it rained the entire day. I dressed appropriately, though, so I did not freeze or die of heat. (I told you Florida is indecisive.) It was definitely not exciting to be walking in the rain all day, but I got over it. I think I might possibly prefer days like today. Less crowds, and less sweating; I can work with that. I just have to invest in some water-appropriate shoes. When my feet get wet I feel absolutely gross.

Back to school, and what I actually have been stuffing my face in. Grammar. My fave. I can certainly see myself in a few weeks dissecting sentences by subject, verb, complement, prepositional phrase, conjunction, interjection.. until it drives both myself, and anyone else who observes it, crazy.

One thing I do have to say is that taking a grammar class and a foreign language at the same time is quite amusing. Why? Because when we were talking about the "to be" verbs that precede subject complements, I kept thinking of "estar," which is "to be" in Spanish. Then I had to remind myself that this class is about the English Language. At least the classes are not on the same day.

Oh! <-- interjection (okay, I'll stop.) About my story:

Meet Andrew. He was your average college student with a pretty boring life. He is one of those undecided people who can positively answer your question only if it involves "what is your name" or "how old are you." I made him good-looking though, so it is not hard for him to make friends. Mr. blond hair, blue-eyed, easily the-hottest-guy-on-campus, that I drooled over today is now my inspiration for Andrew's physical appearance. Just saying.

So back to Andrew. Everything was boring and copacetic until he got a random pain one day, went to the doctor, and found out he has a year to live. The next episode? He drops out, takes loans, and heads to Japan ! Now I ask you this. What would you do if you had a year to live?

Stay tuned.